Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 - The second most stressful year of my life (so far?)

I decided to spend an hour writing this:

I can’t go thru everything I have experienced and everything I’m experiencing right now but these are only "some" of the things:

A) The graduate application process is torture. (Well I guess every step is painful):
  1.  Getting recommendation letters is the worst part I believe specially when you’re not a recent graduate.
  2.  Writing the statement of purpose when you don’t yet have a clear research plan is pain.
  3. Waiting is the most painful part of the process. (You’d wait for 3-4 months).
  4. I had a stressful situation with the school I wanted to attend. The graduate division rejected my initial department recommendation and it took me two months to convince them that I deserve a chance.

B) Leaving your job is hard:
  1.  You’d think it’s easy but It’s not specially when you have worked really hard to reach your current position. 
  2. I don’t have to explain the insecurities associated with leaving a job.
  3. Although graduate school is an investment but spending all your savings to go to graduate school is a bit scary. (What if it’s not worth it?).
  4.  Having an acceptance to the same program at KU didn’t help. (Everyone was like why are you doing this?).

C) Moving is hard:
  1. Living alone is not easy and living with a stranger is not fun specially when she’s so annoying!
  2.  Meeting your colleagues who are mostly recent graduates was not encouraging.
  3. Many grad students are depressed and I didn’t know that, I guess I met the wrong mix at first.
  4. & I miss my family & friends. 

D) Going back to school is hard:
  1. Doing assignments, reading and listening to lectures is so hard after all these years. Nothing is easy or straight forward as it used to be. My first exam was a horrible experience, it was a disaster! 
  2. Having a crush on a professor doesn't help, it is a distraction! 

E) Future uncertainties:
  1. I need a job and I hope I get one soon otherwise I’m going to be broke next year.
  2. I really want to work with professor X but I need to work so hard for it since I don’t have any background in his field. (The most stressful thing right now).
  3. My classes next term are so difficult and I don’t have the prerequisites but I need to take them!
  4. I need to apply for funding although I haven’t found anything I’m eligible for (coming from a rich country doesn’t help).
  5. Next fall I’ll again have to apply for PhD programs, another graduate application process. I just hope I can keep a good GPA to be able to apply.
  6. Also, the hair I'm losing due to stress is freaking me out, I hope it stops!


Bloggylife said...

I totally understand. Wish you the best :D At least you're doing something & not following the typical path! GO NEMO :D

Nemo said...

thank u dear ;* I wanted to add: learn how to cook but it's not important now :p

Haider said...

I moved house and find that extremely stressful, so I can imagine moving to a different country to be a lot more stressful.

I wish you a wonderful 2012 and success with Professor X. ;D

Nemo said...

thank u dear, I should have listed moving with this roommate as the second most stressful/frustrating thing!

happy 2012!